Category Archives: personal

Ex

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I’m too exhausted to say anything today.

Travel: Crush Pad

Documenting little life lessons I learn from busting my ass daily for 12+ hours a day:

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Everyday for the next few weeks grapes from the field will roll down a conveyor belt at medium speed. They will be wet with juice, soil, insects, water; they will be big and plump, raisined, sunburned, unripe and molded.

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And I will have to grab them. The bad ones, the unripened, the sunburned, the botrytis shriveled, the bird eaten and broken grapes that won’t make good wine. And in those moments, nothing else will matter. Never has it been so clear to me that nothing matters more than what is happening right now. I don’t know if in a few hours the next half ton bin will be leafless and gleaming or botrytis ridden. I don’t know if the grapes that made the cut will make good wine in the future or wine that has so much acidity you could sanitize your dishes with it. I don’t know if Mayweather will lose to the “other guy” tomorrow. I just know that right now, in this moment, my eyes must be glued and my attention on high alert for as long as it takes to get the job done, to see what I want and intend to make happen. And that is all that matters. What is happening right now.

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Personal: Cheesin

today has been a good day. 

i got this adorably “dyky” leather stitched Fendi bracelet and i reached my deposit goal for Cuba!! 

thank you.

All the Queen’s Men

i have no recollection of Sunday. 

but on Monday!!!!  My Star celebrated his birthday.  And it was a FULL MIX.

Champagne, Prosecco, Tequila shots, Piedmont Park, Blue Dreams, Sushi, Sake, Laughs, Waxing, Running Late, Lunar Eclipse, $5 for 2 cloves, Hot look a-like, BOYSBOYSBOYS!, Big Body Janet, Bathroom Feel Ups, Riverdale runs…and much more…but no pics…sorry.  lol

bedtime: 5:00 am

Personal: New Orleans

so many things i miss when i leave my city.  my handsome little brother

my daddy 🙂

the little seester!

the homes.

and the magnolia trees

and my awesome Pop Pop who apparently always makes me look like a little girl when we take pictures.

i’ll always be thankful and grateful for the opportunity to grow up around so much culture, spirituality and history.  and though i lack the accent, i still consider myself a New Orleans hot girl! 

xoxo to my city.

Personal: November 18th

besides being one of the dopest songs on the So Far Gone mixtape, today is an extremely special day for me for two reasons.

1. it’s my Granny’s birthday.  may the crazy soul of my past continue to rest in peace.

2. today is Iesha Cooper’s birthday.

it’s such a funny little union, with my granny playing best friend for most of my early childhood.  we’d gossip together and grocery shop together.  buy shoes together and watch benny hinn the televangelist together.  it was cute.  she was my saturday night hangout buddy…i miss her.

and then iesha cooper came along…my whirlwind.  it is impossible to go anywhere with her and it not become an event.  IMPOSSIBLE.  i think that’s what drew me into the friendship…what sealed it was the sharing of birthdays.  i missed my grandmother desperately when i met “I.K. Cooper” and her spontaneity with my recklessness at the time made for a firebomb of fun.

…and did we have fun.  oh lord, YES WE DID.

so today, i want to say thank you to my grandmother for raising me.  for shaping me and for loving me.

to “I.K. Cooper,” i want to say thank you for saving me, for tolerating my frequent foolishness and for teaching me how to take control of my life.  i love you girl!!!

Happy Birthday Chicks!!!!

Personal: Steal Away

photo taken by Atia

how wonderful it would be to slip away into this photograph…just for a little while. 

dance in the light, breathe the fresh air, jet in and out of the secret hideways between the trees…

restless.

Party: Blur Baby

so apparently last week’s opening night at Life was just a preview and this past weekend’s night was the actual Grand Opening…which I might add, was packed.


my new school buddy made us a nice healthy glass of tomato juice 😉

the finished product was quite tasty.

then some of her pretty friends arrived and joined us in our pre-game efforts.

SUCCESS and giggles!!!  now off to the club…

…where we saw this?!

so we decided to huddle away from the foolywang

and share some smiles

and some laughter…

…until it was time to go home…where E discovered a 12 pack of Heineken on the side of the road with five ice cold brews in it.  For the Win!

Saturday I went with PrettyWigley to the Wiz Khalifa concert.  As you can see…this thing was superfruitydumb PACKED.

being the tall people we are, we “boguarded” our way through a pretty solid stronghold.

even though the man took my treats…i still had a great night.

finished the weekend off with my favorite girl, Munchie. 

i love her 🙂

Spoiler Alert: Critical Thinking For Colored Girls

i’m gonna keep it real…this  is a LONG blog and contains spoilers.

i saw For Colored Girls on Tuesday with “Dr. Mailey” at Landmark Theater but decided to avoid writing my opinions on it until Friday so i didn’t ruin it for anyone as i know every colored girl under the sun is going to go see it…and should.  

  1. it IS an attempt to reveal the experiences of black women in the states.  and it’s not the worst attempt imaginable.  thank goodness.
  2. it has the cast of a lifetime.  all the women do an excellent job and Janet looks like everything!  Kimberly Elise is PHENOMENAL.  Period. (if she doesn’t win an Oscar, the shit is rigged). 
  3. it IS Tyler Perry’s best film…please keep in mind i do not think i am saying much when i say that, but truth be told, i can see that he is slowly growing as a director and is seeking to be taken seriously.

i will NOT however laud this film for being subversive or new or alternative or ground breaking  for it is NONE of those things.  it’s emotional.  it has a climatic plot.  it made me cry.  and for 10 seconds (10 seconds i will talk about in my piece thoroughly) it ALMOST made me think Tyler Perry might actually challenge a deadly narrative in our community that has physically and emotionally damaged untold numbers. 

but he didn’t.  he let the ball drop.  again.

Down Low Scene.  Why?  No actually, why THAT way?

i was gonna let all his other dumb assertions slide until he put this scene in the film.  it was terribly homophobic.  this obsession with “who bends who over” and the whole, “low down down low” dialogue just unsettled me and reflected the continuation of our communities staunch inability to discuss the true underlying topic of “the down low phenom,” which is its relationship to black masculinity and its perceived assault to black male masculinity.  for TEN hot seconds, i mean HOT HOT seconds, i thought he was going to open up meaningful dialogue about this issue.  he ALMOST did.

so… Spoiler Alert #1:  Janet’s FINE ASS  husband, Omari Hardwick, sleeps with other men.  you could figure that out and what it means by observing Tyler Perry’s shameless narrative clue of a healthy Ms. Jackson  “coughing” periodically throughout the movie.  about 7 minutes and one cough in, i KNEW Tyler Perry was inserting the “down low phenom” into his storyline.  boo!!  they never do it right.

Isn't Omari Hardwick fine? Anyway...

Janet confronts Omari in the movie after going to the doctor to of course discover that she has HIV.  after she goes IN on him and his masculinity,  (which is problematic BUT she just found out she has HIV AND her assault on him shows the seething attitudes with which we regard black male homosexual practices) Omari has a brief monologue.  it is somewhat incredible.  and the opportunity i think Perry had to really go OFF about the issue and its horrific psychological affects on Black men.   and truth be told, a reflection of Perry’s own personal struggle with his sexuality…BUT ANYWAY

With some pretty decent acting on Omari’s part he says, as if attempting to convince himself, “I am a man every day of the week,” as a response to Janet’s “attack.”  That’s an odd response to her if you think about it and a HUGELY symbolic one.  As if attempting to psychologically unite his masculinity and his sexual desires, his response reveals how trying to manage his desires with his internalized expectations of himself as a black male, has been fucking him up emotionally. 

you can see it all over his face.  his reaction to his own sexual behavior shows the kind of harmful emotional impact these UNrealistic expectations have on MANY black men, who as a result do NOT tell women (cause they won’t be perceived as a man anymore by themselves or that woman) that they have sexual attraction for other men.  this coupled with LOTS of unsafe sex…the ACTUAL cause of STI’s.  TALK about that shit Tyler!!!  in a real and authentic way…not 10 seconds with the end being another homophobic slurr from Janet…scene end.  how wack?!

i KNOW buddies fan base is predominantly black women.  but our insistence and resistance to not talk about the issue of “alternative” desires is killing EVERYBODY; literally and figuratively.

Black Masculinity and taking $200,000 of MY money?

Spoiler Alert 2: Janet’s husband takes $200,000 out of a shared account to invest in stock.  Most of the money is hers.  He didn’t tell her.  He lost the money.

why wasn’t this a bigger deal?  i mean are you seriously kidding the hell out of me right now.  Fool, you TOOK $200,000 of our money, decided it was yours and then LOST it.  you’re testing the limits of my vows sir.  the LIMITS.  no amount of roses and apologies would make me disregard the fact that you feel your dominance and masculinity must be maintained by dominating our finances, and especially not $200,000 of our finances that you decided were yours…that were actually mine cause i make MORE than you…FOOL!  why couldn’t Omari just be happy living in a fly ass crib in the NYC with a hot ass wife…oh yeah because her money and power emasculate him.  screw him.  give me back my $200,000 or we’re going to court.

Healthcare and the reasons why she didn’t get a pap for EIGHT MONTHS?

Spoiler Alert #3: Kerry Washington can’t have kids because of an untreated STI.

Why didn’t  Kerry Washington’s character go to the doctor and why wasn’t the issue of poor healthcare discussed more thoroughly?  That is a HUGE problem that my girl Ms. Washington was having relations  and she didn’t go get tested.  It is a HUGE problem that she found out he was sleeping with someone else and didn’t go get tested…even if that someone else was your homegirl.  It is a HUGE issue that she didn’t just go to the doctor in general to get her vag checked out…it was swept under the rug…quite uncritical Tyler.  not investigating this issue kind of made Kerry Washington’s character flat…i know some of ya’ll were wondering what HER point was in the movie…i know this.

Psychological Unravelings…my boy FLEW off the deep end…

Michael Ealy lost his mind.  What he did to those kids.  Damn.  Not a dry eye in the theater.  Except, why was our last vision of him inside a prison cell staring longingly into a pillow?  can we talk about poor Veteran’s benefits in this country…how people go off, see the craziest shit they’ve ever seen, fight and kill and then come back to the country and have NO help.  nothing for the trauma and stress of living in those conditions.  nothing to survive off except liquor and psychosis.  (yes i know the movie was about women…but i also know if given the opportunity to explore the male issues in this film, Tyler would probably flop).

Alternative Narratives: Black Samantha’s and “Deserving” Rape Victims

why are there no Samantha’s for Black women?  WHY does every represenation of a black woman with a healthy sexuality posed as virulent.  why did Thandie Newton’s character have to be a molestation victim as a means to explain away her practice of sleeping with men in non-traditional ways.

Samantha is awesome.  Owns her own PR company.   WEALTHY.  HEALTHY.  no poor relationships with her father.  no rape stories.  no intelligence issues…NOTHING.  she literally just likes to fuck.  all the time and with ANYONE she’s is attracted.  she isn’t positioned as a crazy woman for this.  she isn’t situated as a giant slut.  she is positioned as someone who actively chooses to engage her body and her mind with whom she chooses…WHY don’t we have any of those…

one might argue we had Nola Darling (She’s Gotta Have It)…except she ends up getting raped by her own boyfriend as punishment for her “insatiable” appetite.  GTFOH.

Spoiler Alert #4: Anika Noni Rose is raped.  why couldn’t she have had a full glass or two of wine and still know she didn’t want to sleep with him?

it PISSES me off that everytime a woman gets raped they wanna know what the fuck she did to lead him on.  i’m a lesbian.  and i assure you from a masculine standpoint, i have been “led” on a whole bunch of damn times.  and you know what, when she said no, i STOPPED.  why aren’t men expected to do the same thing?  on the ONE hand…i’m thrilled that Perry gave Anika the opportunity to discuss the falsehood behind stranger versus personal rape…cause most of us will NEVER meet that stranger in the bushes…BUT i HATE that her “out” was she didn’t have anything to drink…

 

In SHORT: Tyler Perry introduces some great points and completes NONE.  EVER.  BUT go see it…cause from an uncritical stance…it’s a good movie shawty.  JUST REMEMBER…if you leave the theater thinking you saw an incredible masterpiece, i will judge you and harshly.

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Personal: Keys

perhaps maybe this time…

Corinne Stevie

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